Nostalgia setting in

Gawd, I look awful. I wish I had some nice
candid artistic shots done.

I am feeling a bit nostalgic these days watching Little V growing up so quickly. I try to hold him in my arms and force him to fall asleep like he used to when he was a small nugget. Now, he just wants to look around and play... I call him "Bajiggity". And inside I'm like... SLEEP and CUDDLE with me!!!! hahaha

I try to squeeze him in my favourite clothes of his that I don't want to let go, and lately I just can't stop taking pictures of him! As a friend said, "I'm trying to memorize his little face"... I couldn't have said it better myself.

The first three months for me was tough. Breastfeeding was a challenging nightmare, little man used to wake up every 1.5 hours to be fed at night and I was just plain scared and tired all the time. At three months, we developed a routine and now at 7 months, I can finally say that I know who my son is.

It's such a strange adjustment to have a piece of you living in the outside world. I have to say, at first I just wanted to run away and be alone. I did not have post partum depression, but I was struggling with myself. I knew that I loved my son unconditionally, I just wanted to be selfish. I wanted my arms to myself. I didn't want to hold anything, lug anything, push anything, clean anything... I just wanted to be the old me. I think it takes a lot of courage to openly speak your mind, because you feel like you are being judged if you don't "fall in love" with your baby immediately. I also struggled with attachment issues, I felt like I didn't HAVE to be with him 24/7, I was more than happy to leave him with grandma and go run some errands.

Mind you, running errands when you are a new mom consists of slapping lipstick on to go to Walmart and do a quick one stop shop grocery. Thank goodness for their new produce section!
"Diapers, maybe a new t-shirt for me, get milk, check if the formula is on sale... wait I have coupons and flyers for price matching!" This was me for the first few months. What a nerd!

Little V, now at 7 months

You know how in Twilight the werewolves imprint themselves on the vampires... well this sounds dorky, but I think something like that happened to me and V recently. I just can't get enough of his little face. I think now that we have a routine and I am not sleep deprived, I have more time to enjoy him. I think it helps that he laughs with me, he eats my face (and drools all over), gives me squeezes (while pulling my hair) and pets my arm hair (hahaha). I think I needed that reciprocal interaction with him to compensate for the lack of bonding we missed out on since I did not breastfeed.

Just a little heads up that the next few posts will be dedicated to remembering things that I used to do with V, so one day, on the eve of his wedding I can look back and remember my little blue eyed monkey.

Happy 7 month b-day V! Mama love you bunny rabbit xox

Top 5 things I thought I would never do as a new mom

If there is a person that I know the least, it has to be me! Before I has Little man, I had preconceived ideas of how I wanted to raise my child. Let me tell you that once reality sets in, you end up doing things you told yourself you would never do... here are mine:

1. Use a pacifier. I now know why mothers use them! I used to feel sorry when parents would shove a suce in a whining baby's mouth. Now I get it! I don't use it all the time, but it really helps  Little man fall asleep. He takes it out when he doesn't want it, which I think is great :) He's not a cry baby, which might explain why we don't need it often. Also a must in the car if you need to give yourself more time.   I used the ortho soothers that are one piece silicone.
2. Use a Family Sticker on my Murano! Yup, I caved when I got it as a gift, I slapped that thing on as a "baby on board". My husband and I agreed that we would NOT have one for he and I!
3. Feed my child store bought baby food. We went on a camping trip and I was really tempted by the convenience of it all. In the end it's not terrible, but making your own food is way more fun and tasty.
4. Play "Dress up" with my son. I didn't know what I was having, and I always thought that I would just put my baby in pyjamas for the first 6 month of their lives. I had a whole pile of neutral jammies and figured I was set. WRONG! Those who know me, know that I love dressing my son and accessorizing too! Since I didn't have a girl, I am still fulfilling this desire by making sure my son is always dressed to the nines! I doubted my abilities at first to dress a boy, but once you find your style... it's pretty easy.
5. Last but not least Formula Feed. This is a touchy subject, but when breastfeeding doesn't go as planned, you really have no choice.

Did you have any hindsight reality checks when you became a mom? Please share in the comments below.