As a new mom, I have to admit that keeping your relationship healthy is just as important and just as challenging as raising a new baby. I was recommended "And Baby Makes Three, by John Gottman".
It's a great short read that needs to be done by both parents in order to be effective.
You will find lots of examples and exercises to practice things like arguing and getting your feelings out without starting a fight.
Here is a list of interesting things I have learnt from the book:
- Pregnant women were considered taboo back in the 50s. Because it reminded people of sex! Pregnant women were not seen on TV until Lucille Ball was actually pregnant while taping her show!
- There is a smart way to fight and a stupid way to fight. Only 30% of people fight smart, the rest of us fight about "how we are fighting" instead of "what the fight is actually about".
- Ex: "You always get defensive", "Stop raising your voice" "You're so lazy and selfish".. blah blah blah. What you meant to say was "Can you please the dishes?".
- Something we don't plan enough as parents are our new family morals and views, which include religion, discipline, motivating, support. You need to meld both partner's existing family values into one and create a new way of parenting that is unique to your household. SO HARD!!
Have you read this book? Thoughts? Any other books you'd recommend?
Do you have any advice to share on relationships with a new baby? Did you take a Bringing Baby Home class? Did it help? Share your comments, I'd love to hear your advice or questions!